Commemorating
Harry V. DuBrow’s Yahrzeit
You need to look very hard at
Parshat Toldot in order to find Rivka and Yitzchak communicating.
When Rivka is having a difficult
pregnancy, she goes to seek out God, and is told (Breisheet 25:23) “Two nations
are in your womb and two kingdoms will separate within you. One government will
be mightier than the other, but the greater one will serve the smaller one.” Yet
we don’t see her reveal God’s message to Yitzchak.
When they go down to Grar, during
the famine, Yitzchak doesn’t tell Rivka to act as his sister, rather he tells
people that she is his sister.
When it is time to bless the twins,
Yitzchak calls in Esav without consulting Rivka. She then goes behind
Yitzchak’s back, dressing Yaakov as Esav to make sure that Yaakov receives the
blessing that Yitzchak intended for Esav.
We finally hear Rivka speak to
Yitzchak near the end of the parsha, when the blessings were already given out,
after Rivka heard that Esav wanted to kill Yaakov and after Rivka already told
Yaakov that he needs to flee to her brother, Lavan in Charan until Esav calms
down. None of which does Rivka mention to Yitzchak.
Instead, Rivka tells Yitzchak (Breisheet
27:46) “I am disgusted with my life because of the daughters of Chet. If Yaakov
marries a woman of the daughters of Chet, like these, from the daughters of the
land, what is life worth to me?”
After Rivka tells him this
information (Breisheet 28:1-4), Yitzchak follows her advice:
Yitzchak called Yaakov and blessed
him. He commanded him and said to him, “Do not marry a woman of the daughters
of C’naan. Set out and go to Padan Aram, to the house of Betuel, your mother’s
father, and marry one of the daughters of Lavan, your mother’s brother. May E-l
Shad-ai bless you, make you fruitful and multiply you. May you become an
assembly of peoples. May He give you the blessing of Avraham, to you and to
your descendents with you, that you may inherit the land of your dwelling which
God gave to Avraham.
At that moment, it was a life and
death situation (even though Yitzchak didn’t know that Esav wanted to kill
Yaakov) so Rivka had to speak up and when she did, Yitzchak listened to her.
What held Rivka back from
communicating with Yitzchak until that point?
The Netziv, in his commentary,
HaEmek Davar, explains that from the moment that Rivka first saw Yitzchak, when
she arrived with Avraham’s servant, she feared him.
We see their first encounter in Breisheet
24:64-65:
Rivka raised her eyes and saw
Yitzchak. She let herself down from the camel. She said to the servant, “Who is that man walking through the field towards us?” The servant
said, “He is my master.” She then took the veil and covered herself.
According to the Netziv when Rivka
saw Yitzchak praying, he was like an awe inspiring angel. Even before she knew
for sure who the man meditating was, Rivka slipped off the camel out of fear
and awe. She covered her face when she realized that this is the man that she
would be marrying and she felt embarrassed, afraid and unworthy of being his
wife.
The Netziv adds that their
relationship was very different from Sarah and Avraham and Rachel and Yaakov where
the wives weren’t afraid to say what was on their minds (Sarah told Avraham to
send away Hagar, Rachel demanded that Yaakov give her children etc.).
The Netziv concludes that their
relationship was set up this way as part of God’s plan to make sure that Yaakov
would receive the blessings in the manner that he received them. If Rivka and
Yitzchak had communicated like Sarah and Avraham and Rachel and Yaakov, then
Yaakov would not have received the blessings in the same way. It was all part
of hashgacha pratit, Divine Providence that Rivka first saw Yitzchak like an angel
while he was connecting with God.
Yitzchak and Rivka were on a totally
different wave length and we will never fully understand their relationship.
However, they were both aware that the blessing of the Land of Israel belonged
to Yaakov and that intermarrying with idol worshipers was unacceptable.