At the end of Parshat Chayei Sarah
we read about Rivka’s marriage to Yitzchak and in Parshat Vayetze we read about
Yaakov’s marriage to Leah. In both of these stories we see practices that are
still part of Jewish weddings today.
When Avraham’s servant went to find
a wife for Yitzchak, Lavan and his mother were not in a rush to let Rivka go so
soon. They wanted her to wait ten or twelve months before sending her off to get
married. The servant explained that he could not wait so long and that he had
to get back. At that point (Breisheet 24:57) Lavan and his mother said that
they would call her and ask her.
Rashi states that from here we learn
that a woman may not be given in marriage unless it is with her consent.
They called Rivka and asked her if
she wanted to go and she said “I will go.”
In Breisheet 24:60 “They blessed
Rivka and said to her, ‘Our sister may you become thousands of myriads and may
your descendents inherit the gates of their foes.’”
Many still bestow his same blessing
on the bride before she enters the chupah.
When Rivka saw Yitzchak for the
first time (Breisheet 24:65) “…she took her veil and covered herself.”
This is where the tradition comes
from that the bride’s face is covered with a veil.
In Vayetze, it is pretty clear that
the bride’s face was covered and therefore Yaakov didn’t know that he was
marrying Leah instead of Rachel.
In order to avoid this problem,
before the chupah (ceremony) takes place the groom makes sure that he has the
correct bride and then lowers her veil in a ceremony called the badekin.
In Breisheet 29:22, we read: “Lavan
invited all of the local people and he made a wedding feast.”
From here we see that a wedding was
celebrated with a feast as is done today with a seudat mitzvah. In those days
the entire community was invited. The custom to invite the whole community is
still practiced today on kibbutzim in Israel.
When Yaakov saw that he had in fact
married Leah and requested to also be able to marry Rachel (his chosen bride),
Lavan explaind that he would have to wait until after the week of celebrations
(Breisheet 29:27) “Complete the marriage week for this one (Leah), we will then
give you the other one (Rachel) also…”
From here we learn that the wedding
celebrations lasted for an entire week- similar to the way that we celebrate
Sheva Brachot with a different party in honor of the bride and groom each
night.
We see from here that many of our
wedding traditions date back to the time of Lavan and what was done in his
community. However, some of the traditions that Lavan had we are forbidden to
practice including marrying two sisters to the same man and setting up a
wedding under false pretenses including where the groom doesn’t know which
bride he is marrying. To avoid this, we have a Ketubah (marriage contract)
where the names of the bride and groom are clearly stated and pairs of
witnesses who sign the Ketubah and witness the ceremony.
May we witness many weddings in the
Land of Israel and throughout the world.
